I May Be a Bad Mother?!

I am typically not one to dispose all of my personal thoughts out there on my blog, but I have struggled whether to paint the pretty picture of everyone's typical Easter or the reality of my life. So on Sunday morning, a small token of appreciation (a new movie which Lauren wanted and some beautiful sparkle flip flops in their favorite color) was given to our daughters from us. This was followed by an unappreciative elder daughter, "You just got this from Target". As my defense mechanism, I ignored the rude comment. Then at the breakfast table my daughter proceeded to complain about the amount (or lack thereof) of made from scratch pancakes. She wanted her younger sister's pancake and Meredith understanding this, held onto that pancake for over 30 minutes before giving up and letting her have it. Thank you Meredith, I don't think I could have heard Lauren ask "can I have it yet?" another 50+ times. Yeah, I think to myself, finally Lauren is satisfied. My brief sigh of relief is interrupted by my favorite 5 year old asking, "When is the Easter Bunny coming so I can get all my stuff?". First of all, where did this come from? The Easter Bunny has never come to our house in her 5 years of life. Yes, we get her "small tokens" for Easter, but I am getting the feeling that Lauren is comparing the Easter Bunny to Santa. And when did we forget the real meaning of Easter? Probably when we all forgot the real meaning of Christmas. I continue to try to cover for myself to my 5 year old while kicking myself for "forgetting" about the Easter Bunny gifts! How could I let my daughter down? Now she feels like she has done something bad since the Easter Bunny is not coming. Wait...This is not about the Easter Bunny! This is about the death and resurrection of Jesus not about a stupid bunny and gifts! Where did I go wrong? How did I become to have such ungrateful children who expect gifts at every holiday? This is not something I believe in and how have my children formed these habits at such an early age? Then..the interruption of reality that we have to get ready for the day.....the day continues and then we come home. It is a beautiful spring day outside and the girls are able to play outside with friends even though it is late enough that they should be eating supper, taking baths and getting ready for bed. Then we come inside to a screaming younger child who doesn't want to eat (when does this ever happen for her?) throws her food at record distances and an older child who is asking for candy and "something extra special tonight, like a movie or popcorn".  A mother trying to hold her patience responds "No. You have had enough candy today". Since I could not specifically list the amount and kind of candy Lauren had had that day she thought that it was nonexistent and proceeded to bargain for another piece. Even after receiving numerous gifts from her grandparents, playing with her cousins all day, playing with the neighbors once she was home, she still felt she needed something "extra special" that night. REALLY? Because your life isn't already extra special. Where did this child come from? The formerly patient mother gives 2 unwanted baths amidst screams, cleans a disaster of a kitchen and threatens to donate all the toys and books in their bedrooms to kids who would appreciate them. The older child throws out the idea of selling the toys and books in order to make money instead. Who does this child belong too? Where did the simplicity of life go? I want my children to appreciate the simple things in life and not expect to get gifts or something extra special or money in return. Am I a bad mother for not having the Easter Bunny come? Apparently by some of the glances I get when I retell this story. What do you mean the Easter Bunny doesn't come to your house? When did the Easter Bunny ever come? It never came to my house growing up?.....................................................................................................................................................................................

This is why I don't blog. My thoughts are too many. And possibly a little negative. But this was the reality of my Easter. I felt as though I was a bad mother and was raising unappreciative children. In the past 2 days, the girls have been better, but it has changed my outlook to parenting. I will continue to instill the beliefs in my children that I feel are important. It is important for my children to know who Jesus is..it is important for my children to give to others with no expectations in return..it is important for my children to laugh and be silly..it is important for my children to lead healthy lifestyles...it is important for my children to not get everything they ask for..it is important for my children to love and be loved...it is important for my children to be kind to others...I could go on and on. Maybe some would say I am a bad mother, but I am doing what I feel is the best that I can do. I simply want my children to be respectful and appreciate the simple things in life, for we are so blessed with all that has been given to us. Hopefully my children will appreciate this. I will probably have to wait 32 years like my mother did when she received a phone Sunday evening recalling the events of the day. The conversation started out...I apologize if you ever felt that I was an ungrateful child...